Hello to everyone. I wrote this post up on Facebook this morning, so I wanted to share it here as well.
I learned about trust today, while I had a much needed Bible study and time with YAH
I had a major anxiety attack last night, and into this morning. I knew that the devil was attacking me.
I thought that my happy life was going to change forever, and an anxiety attack washed over me, It clouded my actual knowledge of what YAH had blessed and told me. This Bible verse (photo above) as been my life verse, ever since I was 15 years old. It's always come up, whether in an unexpected way or YAH has put it on my heart.
I am a person who is afraid of change and then will panic about it. I have been disappointed and hurt badly, in the past. I've put up walls and set guards on my heart and mind, ad it sadly took away my trust in Yeshua. I have never fully trusted Him, in these past few years. And it's because I put my trust in people who sadly didn't live up to their words. I have put my trust into what people told me that I should do. I had people make decisions for me, based on what THEY wanted me to do, not what I wanted to do. And it finally built up so many walls and guards...that I now have already suffered from two anxiety attacks.
But, this morning, I started to read my Bible and read some devotionals. And one talked about trust.
It said to start a daily habit of saying "I trust you, Yeshua', in my daily prayers and thought. That never had occurred to me. Trust. True trust.
The kind of trust that will never let you down. The kind of trust that, even in your most darkest and most feared moments, you can trust in Yeshua. I said that, in my heart this morning. That I will trust Yeshua no matter what. No matter how much things may hurt, I HAVE to trust Yeshua. Because no one else, and nothing else, can ever give you shalom (Hebrew word for 'peace') and grace, love and mercy, as much as Yeshua.
My life is changing very quickly. I am in a beautiful relationship with a man that I hope to one day live with forever. I am in a new season of my own personal growth, as I work on my weight loss and learn to let go of my anxiety. And, like I said at the beginning, I am a person who is very afraid. I am afraid to lose all of these beautiful blessings that YAH has given me these past few months.
2020 was very rough for me, personally. And it had nothing to do with COVID. It was just spiritually and mentally hard. But, the last 4 months of 2020 were different.
I celebrated Sukkot for the first time; The Feast of Tabernacles. And you know what...I wish that every day was Sukkot. I was away from all the noise of the world. I was away from social media. I was away from all the people who had hurt me. I was in a simple, beautiful meadow, dancing and singing for YAH. I danced every night. I cried, with joy, every day. I had never felt that way before in my worship. Then came Thanksgiving.
The day that the whole nation, unknowingly to some, thank YAH for all His blessings. I was so happy that day. I have never been that thankful in my life. Then, came an even bigger blessing...my very first relationship.
My boyfriend has made me so very happy. I have never felt this happy, with a young man, in my life. he loves me, he takes care of me, he listens to me and he protects me.
And all of this didn't happen by chance. It happened because I slowly submitted my own fears to YAH. And I have been blessed with beautiful mercies. And now, I am learning to submit something new. Trust.
And this is what I want to say to you all. Trust in YAHWEH, for He will always be with you, no matter how dark and restless this life is. He never fails you. He never confuses you. He will never leave you.
Trust in Him and in Him alone
Shalom and blessings, my friends.